If your not a server, here's a tip

The next time your out eating at a resturant, look at your waiter, you think they are really happy to be doing that job? the answer is no, they are not. but its what we do, and we do it for the money so please help them out. Its a tougher job than you think and you should pay them accordingly!This is for everybody who goes to a restaurant and has ever footed the bill.OK. I'm tired of those people flooding the restaurants w/o any knowledge of how to tip. Here is a short guide for the general public to follow. Feel free to print out and store in your wallet and/or purse.

1. If you are not a child and get something from the kids menu (which we DO NOT have to do), tip as if you received an adult meal and leave the server an extra $1 @ least!

2. If you have children, DO NOT let them, open and dump anything on the table (ie; salt, sugar, etc). IF YOU DO, you must leave an extra $5 for the server to clean up YOUR CHILDS mess & to restock the now unusable wasted items. We are neither their babysitter nor their parent. The least you can do is pay us for the extra work. Also make sure you control your kids and don't let them scream or run around the restraunt. It's very distracting not to mention dangerous if they get ran over by a server with hot food in their hands.

3. If you feel the necessity to stay for longer than 15 minutes after you pay, its an extra $3 every 30 minutes (including the first 15min). We make our money from the tables. If you are in one and we cant seat it, we CANT make money.

4. Telling a server they are the best or excellent service is not a tip. If we are good, let us know by leaving us more money. We cant pay our bills on compliments. Its not that we mind the praise; its just that you say were good and then leave 10 %...this is not good. I like hearing that I did a good job, but its like in a relationship... you can tell a girl you love her a thousand times, but ACTIONS speak louder than WORDS. Tell me, but show me i did a good job with that MONEY.

5. Prayer cards and any other religious pamphlet is NOT a tip. It is insulting that you assume we are w/o religion and must save us. Again, like ..4, we cant pay bills w/prayer cards. P.S. We'd go to church on Sundays if it wasn't mandatory to work on Sundays because EVERYONE who goes to church follows it by eating out. Also don't try to preach to us while we are working. We don't go to your work and put you down so don't do it to us.

6. We know that you have just given money to God, but Sundays are not discounted tip day. 8%=NOT a good tip.

7. It is not 1960. Cost of living has gone up dramatically since then. 18% is the MINIMUM amount of what you should be tipping your servers. Just look at the tax line and multiple by 2-3, this gives you your minimum tip amount. Remember, our companies pay us minimum wage.(minumum wage for servers is $3.15 an hour! ) And we are taxed on 10 percent of your meal automatically anyway. So if you dont leave a tip, we end up paying for your meal.

Let me explain a little clearer. When you pay the bill, you are paying for your food. When you pay the tip, you are paying for the SERVICE. We give you the service, we don't ask for payment in advance, but COME ON. We should go back to the old days where people left the tip in advance so the server had something to work for.
*Little side note...our checks suck and often we don't even receive a check because the tips they tax us on comes out of our check. so we often receive a check that says *VOID* because all the hourly we have made has been taxed. Hourly wages vary slightly per restaurant. If you're at a nice, higher scale restaurant, the servers may be making a bit more per hour, but not much.

8. Say what you mean; plain means nothing on it. If you get a (ex.) burger plain and we bring it that way, dont treat us like idiots because it doesnt have ketchup & mustard. What you order is what we bring. We are not mind readers. If we were, we wouldnt be working in a restaurant.

9. Do not take your bad day (or past experience) out on us. It is not our fault. We dont take our bad customers out on you. Its only fair you do the same for us. If you had bad service last time you came to my restaurant, I'm sorry but either a) don't come back, or b) hope that I'll be better but don't huff and puff about last time.

10. If the prices go up or we start charging for things that used to be free, do not take it out us. We do not make these decisions. We don't even want to enforce them because we know that it will end up hurting our already low tip in the end. Unfortunately our bosses have no problem taking the $ out of our tips if they see us give you something for free that shouldn't be. They will never say anything to you either because you're the customer, so its on us.

11. If you get a discount because of bad food or something, do not take it out of our tip. We didn't cook it. The cooks get paid hourly regardless if the food sucks. However, we only make what you give us. Also, if the manager gives you a discount because of this, you tip of the ORIGINAL total, not the discounted one. Also, if you use a coupon, you tip based on what the total was before the discount people. Our sales (so ultimately, what we are TAXED on) are based on the ORGINAL total.

12. Holidays for us don't exist. Example: If you are eating at our restraunt on a holiday like Thanksgiving and you wish us a happy thanksgiving, do you honestly think we are having a good thanksgiving. No we are stuck at work because it is mandatory for us to be there serving you lazy people who don't want to cook instead of being at home with our families. So be a little more thoughtful when tipping because we are stuck there working and no we don't get paid overtime.

13. If you come into the restraunt 10 mins before closing or any time near closing hurry up and order your food and get out. Closed means closed not social hour. It is so rude to sit there and take your sweet ass time. We can't leave until you leave because we have to do sidework and clean the table you are sitting at. We don't want to stand there waiting for you for an extra hour just because you don't want to go home.

14. If you only come in for coffee or a dessert, to do paper work, or to have a meeting, don't sit there taking up our booths for hours. We are not starbucks or a hotel restraunt. If you want to sit for hours go there or else you better leave a good tip for us and camping fee included.

15. When we come up to the table to greet you and we ask how you are doing please let us know. We honestly want to know how you are doing. If you are in a bad mood we want to know that from the beginning. Also Don't interrupt us and say "I want coffee", "can we get some bread, or "what are the soups"

16. Don't ever talk on your cell phone in a restraunt. This is probably the rudest thing to do. If you are on your cell phone when we walk up to greet your table we will walk away until you get off your phone. Just show some respect and give us your attention for a couple of minutes.

17. Don't grab us by the arm or snap at us when you need something. We waste 30 seconds of our life introducing ourselves when we first greet you at the table. If you want something, use our name.

Post thought: You should do these things if you recieve good service. We know when we give bad service to a table and we really don't expect a tip when this happens.

Drugs

Caution: Contains Bad Language...

Now this is going to be a touchy subject for all you potheads. All you fucking bastards are lobbying to legalize medicinal marijuana. I’ll tell you right now, these people do not give two shits about the medicinal benefits of medical marijuana. They just want to get high and not get bothered by the cops. That’s all it is. Don’t… let ‘em… fool you. All right.

And I’m sick and tired of “well blah blah blah, blah blah blah blah, marijuana” and “do you know… they can make… jeans… out of hemp. Very durable clothing… can be made out of hemp.” Yeah, and it feels like fucking burlap you dumbass. Who the hell wants to walk around in something that feels like a potato sack? Maybe you do, I don’t.

And when they usually interview the head guy at these organizations it’s usually some fucking hacky-sack playing dumbass with fucking beady little red eyes lying through their fucking teeth and giggling like an idiot.

Don’t give me the “it’s a legitimate form of medicine.” Yeah, Great, Just what our healthcare system needs. A bunch of broke, potheads running into every fucking hospital they see trying to get free medicinal marijuana, paid for by taxpayers so they can get high Because they came up with some fucking stupid dumbass fake disease. “My eye hurts. Give me some pot, doc.” Yeah OK. You know what you do? You light up a joint and put it out in their eye. That’s my prescribed use for medicinal marijuana.

I’m sick and tired of people saying, “Well it relieves stress.” You people are the worst. One, your weak willed. Two, you’re fucking pathetic. “Oh I had a stressful day so I gotta have some pot.” Give me a fucking break. OK, you people just can’t deal with reality and that’s your fucking problem. I don’t give two shits about, “Oh I had a stressful day”, Big fucking deal. The rest of the world had a stressful day, all right. It’s called life. Deal with it. And then they try to throw that shit right back at ya. “Well I’m sure you have some addictions, might be caffeine.” Ah yeah… all of a sudden I had a cup of coffee and I’m a fucking addict. Oh, Oh yeah cream cheese too. Look out. “Getting’ high on the cream cheese.” You fucking daft bastards.

And since we’re on the topic of drugs, let’s move on up… To the crack heads. And all these other motherfuckers who have to deal with some kind of foreign substance just to get through the day. You know, this is the problem with society. Everybody’s gotta have to have a fucking quick fix. Why don’t you people just say, “you know what, this is life, life is not enjoyable. Fine I had a stressful day. You know what, I’m going to go home and sleep.” No. I gotta whip out the coke and have six lines. Nice. You people are pathetic and I hope you get shot in the head in a drug bust gone wrong. You want to talk about a stressful day, try having a bullet removed from your head. Now THAT is stressful.

And don’t think I’m picking on the “illegal drug users.” What about all you fucking parents out there that are on, you know, fifteen thousand medications, For depression… for Post- whatever. Oh, “I’m not happy, maybe I’m manic depressive” Lighten up. Give me a fucking break, no one deals with their own emotions anymore. And that’s the best. These parents who lecture their children about doing pot, yet they’re swallowing a bunch of anti-depressants and chasing it with alcohol. Nice. Stop being hypocritical, you dumb bastards. You want to lecture your kids you have to be in the right position to do it. You don’t say “One moment molly, I’ve got to go get my anti-depressants and I’ll be right back to talk to you about your drug problems” Yeah… Doesn’t anybody see the irony in that? You fucking idiots.

And it’s like the majority of America is on some kind of prescribed whatever. Like I went to the doctor and he said, “You know what you should take? You should take this and this and this. And that will take care of your runny nose of yours.” Well why don’t I just wait for my natural immune system to take over the virus and kill it. “Oh, Well I guess you could do that, but here is the prescription just in case.” Yeah Bullshit. Do you realize how many side effects there are? I swear to god, one said, side effects may include hallucinations. I’d rather have the runny nose. Fine I may have some snot on my upper lip, but at least I’m not seeing Elvis in my refrigerator. Damn it.
And especially you fuckers that are already on this shit. Don’t try pushing it off on people who doesn’t want it. Like your kid. “Maybe bobby’s got some attention deficit disorder.” You know what. Maybe the disorder lies with the parent and not the child. OK. Take a good look in the mirror and figure it out. If you don’t know, and need help: Read this again.

What's the deal with the collar???

Ok I just got back from Boston and there is a new fassion trend starting up there and I just have one thing to say about it. Today I salute you, Mr. Collar Putter Upper. You, bedecked in popped collar, teach us that we no longer have to live with a cold back of the neck. Sure, your Pink alligator polo may look feminine to some, but not to the 17 other frat guys wearing the same thing at the bar. Where others may see thoughtless fashion conformity, you preach a higher gospel. You preach of a world where it's okay for a man to go tanning. You ask, "Why can't we wear make-up, and use a shampoo with lavender essence?" So crack open an ice-cold Bud Light, Mr. Polo, because we all know when we really need a piece of gum... you'll have one... in your man purse. And on that note I am Done!!!